Today was our last day of CSAP testing. All together now…”WOO HOO!!!” Yes, I am so glad that it is over. I thought my 8th grade boys were going to internally combust if they had to sit for one more minute after our final 65 minute testing session. I have never seen such fidgeting and inability to sit still. They aren’t allowed to talk, or read, or even get up until the session is over, and for these kiddos, 65 minutes of sitting in one spot without talking is like torture. They were creative though. One student managed to fashion his hair into a replica of lady liberty by twisting small portions of hair into little peaks all the way around his hair-line.
Another managed to tie his two #2, graphite, wooden pencils into his hair so that they hung down like pendulums and then proceeded to swing them back and force eerily bringing to mind Poe’s “The Pit and the Pendulum”.
I felt like I was in an alternate dimension of “The Breakfast Club”. Another student took off his glasses and used the kleenex from the tissue box to make a glasses holder and sat his glasses on them and then just stared at the freakish white face for 30 minutes. Another student decided that he was going to try to balance his #2 pencil between his top lip and nose. This he did for at least 15 minutes. At one point I was quite worried. (This is not my student, but it gives you an idea of what I had to look at for 15 minutes, without cracking a smile…CSAP is a ‘very serious” thing).
They tried to tap their fingers on their desks (not allowed, disruptive), roll their pencils up and down their test books like a skateboard ramp (had to take the pencils away), and my favorite…one student decided to try to juggle kleenex until I was able to catch them mid-air and take away the tissue box. To be honest, during the last fifteen minutes of the 12th and final test, I didn’t know if I was going to make it. Then…finally…”Put your pencils down, this session of the test is now over.” Really? By then all of the students were done and half were almost asleep from boredom, the other, as I told you, were about ready to combust. But it is now over “sigh of relief”. I’m so glad to know that Colorado was approved for some of the billions of dollars that states fought over in the “Race to the Top” scheme, where states had to come up with a “plan” to improve student achievement and hold teacher’s accountable through test scores. Great. I’m sure Johnny (names changed to protect the guilty) thought about that last night when he was up until “3 am texting his high school girlfriend” and could barely stay awake to finish Science session 2 and 3 – good thing I don’t teach Science (sorry Alyce). We have a WINNER!!!
BUT…tomorrow we get to go and see this “as a reward for all their hard work on CSAP”. Right. I worked hard though, so I’m going to enjoy it.